Keith A. Hamblin
February 25, 1996
Well it is unanimous. Not a single one of the people asking me to vote them in as my ruler has ever driven a truck. This means that all of my complaining and trying to fix things will have gone for naught and I really hate it when that happens. My solution? I am hereby announcing my candidacy for President of these United States of America..
Just imagine it. A truck driver steering the country. You can bet there will be some changes around here. I am not going to sign with any party because I believe we have a moral and civic duty to vote for the candidate based on his/her qualities and not on whatever club or organization they may belong to..
Many of the changes I will make will be transportation related but I will not stop there. For one thing I am going to go to the backwoods states like California, Ohio, Montana and whatever others and I am going to force the powers that be in those states to take a little trip in SEMI-1 with me.. I will not let them out of SEMI-1 until they concede that dual speed limits are not only foolish but unnecessary and dangerous. I am also going to show these people how ridiculous it is to trap a truck in any single lane. Especially the right lane. If at has to be a single lane, which it doesn't, then at least make it the center lane so we have escape routes on both sides of us..
My next major change will be to add a minimum of two weeks to all drivers education courses. The first of these two weeks will be spent in the passenger seat of a working truck so that they all learn what the view is like from our altitude. The second week will be spent teaching them how to merge. This seems to be a very difficult operation. So the rules are changing. Learn how to merge or don't get a license...
Another major change will be that all furniture and house, builders and designers will now have to spend a minimum of six months as a furniture mover before they can recieve any contractor, trade or business license. I don't need to explain this law to any furniture mover but for everyone else. YOU CANNOT PUT THAT GRAND PIANO IN THE LOFT UP THOSE WROUGHT IRON SPIRAL STAIRS! Also that big screen tv was not meant to be placed in that cozy little family room at the bottom of the stairs, around the corner and down that narrow hallway..
Next, the fines for overweight loads are going to triple but they will not cost the driver a dime unless he has passed up a chance to make sure the load was legal. The fines are going to go to the people who loaded the truck. It is their freight. They know better than the driver does how much that product weighs and it is their responsibility to not get so greedy when loading.
Drivers will no longer be allowed on the dock. Or at least they will not be allowed to touch the freight. You want us on schedule, you want safer highways but you also want us to do your work for you.. This is not going to happen anymore. I don't know what it is with some of these people but they had better change their way of thinking. Anyone who has delivered to a grocery warehouse knows where this is going but I am going to talk about it anyway.. I WILL NO LONGER BUY MY FAMILY'S GROCERIES FROM THE TWO LARGEST GROCERY CHAINS IN UTAH!!!! You know who you are and this is not just a Utah problem. A driver does everything in his power to make your ridiculous appointment times then when he gets there you treat him like something you would rather be scraping off your shoe. Then he sits in his truck for a couple hours because YOU are not ready for your appointment time. When he finally gets a door you hand him a manual pallet jack and tell him it is his responsibility to get the freight off of the dock. You also tell him that the shipper used large pallets and you want it on small pallets so it is also his responsibility to restack the whole load. In the meantime your warehouse people are running around like a bunch of idiots wasting fuel and time playing on the forklifts and power jacks. President Keith is going to burst your bubble. I don't care if you did buy this stuff F.O.B. your dock. That is between you and the shipper. I will be in my truck. Let me know when you have me empty....
There is much more that is going to change but I think this should suffice for now. I will say that I think you will be very happy with my solution to the welfare problem but this is after all, My trucking page... Talk to you later. Be safe, and REMEMBER...................