by Tom Molnar

Today we find Duke eastbound on the 'big road', counting the yardsticks as he looks forward to breakfast. His favorite waitress works at "Bubba's Trucker's Heaven" truck stop.

The sun is just barely peaking over the horizon as Duke reaches into his pocket for a smoke. He's down to his last few Sobranie Black Russians and he knows Bubba's doesn't carry them.

Damn, he thinks. He pulls one from the pack with his lips, admires the look of the box it came out of, and replaces it in his pocket. He knows he's going to run out this trip and won't be able to get more of the fancy smokes until he gets back home. That means resorting to generic smokes, and to Duke, generic smokes are any smokes other than his beloved Sobranie Black Russians. He uses the truck lighter to fire up. A deep first draw and the cab fills with the smoke and aroma of imported cigarette tobacco.

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Mitz has been a waitress at Bubba's for almost three years. She likes her job and after sticking to it this long has managed to work up to the day shift. She'd hated the graveyard. Couldn't get any sleep during the day. Couldn't imagine how anyone could sleep during the day. Why, God had meant for people to sleep in the dark and work in the daylight. She wanted to quit dozens of times but hung in there in the hope that the day shift was just around the corner. The corner came about four months ago and now life is good. Well, almost good. The only thing she doesn't like about this job is some of the drivers. There are some real jerks out there.

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Duke sees the sign that means 'good home cookin'' is only a mile away. Exit 70 is the next 'get off' ramp and he can't wait. He can see Bubba's on the right just off the slab.

"All right!", he exclaims out loud as he begins to slow his rig down. He scans the sign which shows all the available services at this exit. It's full of those funny looking international symbols for food, lodging, telephones, fuel, and yes, even camping. Must be a campsite somewhere nearby but Duke can't see it from here. There's also a tacked on sign which shows a burning cigarette being tossed out a car window with the traditional red circle and an angled cross-line going through it, indicating that no one should throw lighted cigarettes out of their vehicle windows.

Duke exits without using his turn signal. He's too busy thinking about breakfast and his favorite waitress, Mitz, to concern himself with that trucker stuff. Besides, if his brake lights are on and he's approaching an exit, what else would he be doing but getting off? Any fool could see that. He pops open his vent window and flicks what's left of his Black Russian out. It bounces on the ground with a small shower of sparks.

A quick scan of the front of the truck stop reveals the shapely red head he's looking forward to seeing. She's at the cash register ringing up a customer. As Duke comes to the stop sign at the bottom of the ramp he waves in the direction of Bubba's.

"Hey Baby!", Duke yells, as if she could hear him. "A short stack with a side of bacon, and a cup of black", he adds.

Duke pulls around from the ramp and into the truck stop, swinging wide to make the sharp almost "U" turn. He reaches up and pulls the horn cord, giving it two long blasts. He doesn't care about all the drivers who are sleeping in the parking lot. Hell, it's daylight and they should be getting up anyway.

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Mitz finishes taking the driver's money. She smiles and tells him she hopes he has a good ride. He smiles back, thanks her, and heads out the door, tucking his shirt in as he walks.

Mitz looks out the window and sees a truck coming down the exit ramp. It's BS Trucking. A shiver runs down her spine.

Oh no, she thinks. It's too early for that jerk-off Slade isn't it? She tries to look like she's working under the counter as she looks up at the turning truck. The driver is waving. Damn - it is Slade!

Screw you, she thinks. Her least favorite driver in the world is Duke Slade. He always makes lewd remarks and constantly asks her out on dates. Mitz can't stand him. He thinks he's mister cool with his damned sunglasses which he wears the entire time he's in the restaurant, his wide brimmed cowboy hat, and that damned swagger. He acts like he owns the place. Even the other drivers talk about him when he comes in.

And there he is waving at me, she thinks. No way. Get screwed! Mitz looks at the clock, checking to see if she can take a break. Her break won't last as long as Duke is there, but she can at least cut him off for some of the time. Yeah, as far as Mitz is concerned, it's her break time. She scuttles into the employee break room. She hears two long horn blasts.

A cook in the break room looks up and sees Mitz come in.

"Duke Slade pull in?, he asks, laughing loudly.

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Duke finds him a parking spot and begins the procedure for making a public appearance. He pulls down the sun visor and reveals the vanity mirror on the back. He reaches for his glass case and draws out the well polished mirrored sun glasses. Ray Ban Aviators, the case says. He carefully slips them on so as not to put a smudge on the lenses. He takes his hat off, combs his hair, and replaces the hat, a wide brimmed cowboy hat. He turns his head to the left, then the right, checking to see that he's cool from either side. Yep, he's ready. He opens the door of his long nosed Pete, steps out and down, then locks the door. He polishes the toes of his boots by rubbing each on the back of the opposite pant leg, makes sure his shirt is tucked in, and begins to swagger toward the restaurant.

Duke always looks forward to breakfast at Bubba's because his 'lady' works there. Yessir, one of these days he's going to get a date with her now that she's on the day shift. The way she smiles at him and makes small talk, she has to like Duke as much as he likes her. She laughs at his jokes and goes along with his slightly sexual hints and comments. Duke's kind of woman.

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Suzy peeks into the break room and sees Mitz.

"Hey Mitz, your boyfriend is here", she says with a sarcastic tone. She, like Mitz, can't stand Duke. Suzy knows how much Mitz hates Duke and rubs it in whenever she can.

"Shall I escort him to a private table back here?, she asks, now laughing.

"Get out of here, you bitch", Mitz says in a jovial manner. She and Suzy are great friends and talk like this to each other all the time. "You take care of him. I'm hiding in here as long as I can."

Suzy exits the break room and walks over to Duke's table, which is in the area that Mitz would take care of if she was on the floor.

"Good morning sir. Would you like coffee?" Suzy gives Duke a forced smile.

"Hi Suzy!", Duke says in his best 'it's great to be alive' tone of voice. "Yes I would. Where's Mitz this morning?", he asks.

"She's on break sir", Suzy says. God this guy is a moron. I'll get even with Mitz for going on break.

"Well" says Duke, "Would you tell her I'm here?"

"Whom shall I say is calling?" Suzy says in her best sarcastic retort.

"C'mon Suzy, you know my name. Tell her the Duke is here." Suzy's in love with me too, but she'll have to wait for another time. Right now I'm Mitz's man.

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Bubba came into the break room and sat at Mitz's table.

"So Mitz, ain't you taking kind of a long break?"

"Yeah, I'm sorry Bub, but that damned fool Slade is here and you know how I can't stand that guy. He thinks the sun rises and sets on his butt and I can't stand the sight of him, let alone wait on him. I'll work over tonight and not charge you. Just let me hang out a bit more".

"Ok", Bubba said with a chuckle. He knew all his waitresses hated Duke. If they had it their way there would be a big sign out front that said: "Truckers Welcome. Duke Slade Keep on Truckin".

"No more than 45 minutes though. I need you out on the floor. The nice guys are missing you!"

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Duke put in his order of a short stack with a side of bacon, and more black coffee. Real men drank black coffee. Wusses drank it with cream.

"Did you tell Mitz I'm here?", Duke asked Suzy.

"Yeah, I did", Suzy replied. "She's not feeling well this morning. She'll be out pretty soon."

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Mitz peeks out the break room door. There he is, sitting there eating his breakfast with his sunglasses on. What a moron. Eat up and get out.

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Duke scoops up the last of his pancakes, draws them around the plate to sop up the last of the syrup and takes the last bite. He washes it down with the last of his coffee and reaches for his smokes. He opens the pack and does the cool jiggling bit so one of them pops up. He looks at the pack and sees that there's only two left.

"Damn", he says as he pulls the smoke out and strikes a match to light it.

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Suzy is behind the counter and hears Duke mutter something. She watches him pop up a cigarette and light it. Seeing that his pack is all but empty, she knows his next question will be "when are you going to carry a man's cigarette in this joint?" He asks all the time, and Bubba is never going to carry Duke's five dollar a pack cigarettes.

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"Hey!", Duke exclaims. "When are you guys going to carry a man's cigarette!"

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Mitz can hide no longer. She slowly walks from the break room, hoping to make it to the far end of the restaurant before Duke spots her. No luck.

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"Hey baby!", Duke shouts. "Hey baby, c'mon over here and say hi to the Duke. I almost missed ya."

Duke watches the shapely waitress walk his way. Mitz's real name is Nancy but someone once said she was built like Mitzi Gaynor and that was all it took to get the nickname stuck to her. She liked it, but she didn't like anything Duke said - even her name.

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I guess I better get this over. This guy will hang out all day waiting for me to talk to him.

"Well good morning Mr. Slade", Mitz says. "How's your day going?"

"My day is made now that you're here", Duke says, winking at Mitz.

She can't see his eyes but she can see his skin move behind his sunglasses. Please, let's just get this over so I can get back to normal life.

"Duke, you're such a flirt", she says with a slight giggle. "I'll bet you say that to all the girls."

"Oh no baby, you're my special woman. When are we going out? Now that you're on days we could get together on the weekend. Maybe a hike or a picnic or something?"

"Gee Duke, we'll have to talk about that - another time. I'm real busy today, and I'll be gone this coming weekend", Mitz offers. And I'll be busy the rest of my life as far as you're concerned. Just go away - quickly.

"Darn", Duke says. "Well, think about it. We'll have a great time. I know some great places to hike." I can see she really wants to go. I'll bet she can't wait. Maybe the week after next. Wow! Me and Mitz. I can't wait!

"Ok Duke, I'll think about it", she says. The only thing I'm thinking about is ways to get out of even seeing you here. You and I aren't going anywhere! "I've got to get to work. Nice seeing you again." Mitz shuffles off toward the other end of the restaurant, waving half-heartedly over her shoulder as she walks.

"All right baby. I'll be looking forward to it." Boy, am I lucky. I think she really digs me. I can't wait to get her out in the woods. Duke is almost drooling.

He gets up, puts a five dollar bill on the table under his plate and calls to Mitz...

"This is for you baby!"

Duke pays his bill. Bubba is working the register and just looks at Duke. Duke is not his favorite driver either. Every time Duke comes in, he knows Mitz is going to take a break, usually an extended break at that. Why don't you go on down the road to the Petro or some place like that. You're screwing up my crew. He watches Duke swagger out the door. When he is safely out of earshot, several of the drivers break into a round of applause, which brings laughter from just about everyone. Yep, Duke is a favorite.

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Mitz goes to Duke's table, picks up the five dollar bill, and takes it over to Suzy.

"Here you go, Honey. You deserve every penny of this!"

She looks out the window and sees smoke out by the freeway off ramp........ (Check out more of Duke next month.)