by Tom Molnar
Duke screws up BS Trucking by not folding the landing gear crank down.
Duke is dropping a trailer in the BS Trucking terminal yard. As usual, it’s a yard that’s way too small for the size of the business. Trailers have to be spotted inches from each other leaving scant room for error.
Well, Duke finds a spot wide enough for two trailers and is going to take up the whole space with his trailer. Another driver comes along looking for a place to spot his trailer, spots Duke taking up two places, and runs over to read him the riot act.
"All right, all right!", Duke replies. "I’ll leave you some room. Don’t be so damned testy about it. Hey, it’s only a job, man."
"Yeah, right Duke," Scotty says. "Every time it’s something involving you, it’s two or three jobs - for someone else."
Duke pulls out, repositions his trailer, and backs in as close as he can to the trailer on his right. He hops out, cranks down the landing gear, and begins to walk back to his tractor (leaving the crank handle sticking out).
Scotty leans out his tractor window.
"Hey Duke, you idiot! Put that crank handle down where it belongs. Ya wanna kill someone? Somebody walks between these trailers in the dark and that crank handle can end some guys hope of ever having a family, if you know what I mean."
Duke stops dead in his tracks. He looks at Scotty, than at the landing gear crank, than back at Scotty.
"Aw man, for crissakes give me a break."
He walks back, pulls the handle out, than lets it fall down so it hangs freely. There’s no hook for it to rest in.
"Ya satisfied?," Duke asks sarcastically, giving Scotty a dirty look.
"There ya go, Duke. You do good work - if and when you work."
*****
Farther down the line another driver is backing a trailer into a narrow spot. It’s dark out making it even tougher to accomplish without scraping one trailer against the other. As he backs in he steps on the brake and in the light of the stop lights notices the trailer to his right has a landing gear crank sticking out - about to be hit by his trailer.
"Look at this crap," he says out loud.
He gets out, walks around, ‘unlatches’ the crank and drops it down where it belongs. I’m going to find out who did this, he thinks to himself. He writes the trailer number down so he can check the ‘sign in’ log and find out who the culprit was.
When he checks it out, not surprisingly it’s Duke Slade who dropped that trailer.
*****
Several days later at the end of his run, Duke hears his name called out while he signs in.
"Hey Duke!," yells the dispatcher.
Duke finishes his sign in, then casually looks up from the log in the direction of the voice. Sticking his head in the driver’s room door is one of the dispatchers. He’s holding a sheet of paper in his hand with some numbers on it.
"Can you pull this set of doubles out of the yard and park them on the street? The yard is full and a driver from ‘the corral’ is coming to pick them up soon. I hate to bust up the set now, and besides, there’s no where to put the trailers."
The dispatcher winks at Duke, as if he were asking a special favor.
"Aw man," Duke answers.
He grabs the paper and quickly hustles out the door. Duke wants to get home. There’s a cold brewski waiting there.
*****
Duke hooks up to the set and pulls out into the morning ‘rush hour’ traffic. He gets close to the curb and cranks the landing gear down. The left trailer wheels are right on the white line which designates the parking area. He finishes cranking the gear down and walks back to the tractor, leaving the crank handle sticking out as usual, well beyond the white line. It’s actually sticking out in the moving lane of traffic. Duke pulls the fifth wheel lever, hops into the tractor, and drives back into the yard. He parks his tractor, goes in to the dispatch office, and tosses the paper through the window.
"OK", he says, "I’m done. I’m leaving."
*****
Officers Stutz and Mathews are just beginning their first day on the day shift after two months of nights. Stutz is driving, while Mathews is riding ‘shotgun’ - with a cup of steamy coffee in his right hand. They’re just cruising along chit chatting when all of a sudden Stutz spots a set of doubles parked on the street with a gear handle sticking out right in front of them. He sees it in the nick of time and swerves to the left to avoid ripping the right side of the car. Another car in the left lane has to slam on the brakes to avoid hitting the squad car which has just swerved into its lane. Officer Mathews, caught off guard, spills the hot coffee all over himself and onto the dash of the squad car, soaking a pile of paperwork.
Officer Stutz cries out… "Why you stupid %#@&%@#!!!! Look at this #@!()&^%#$!!!!"
Officer Mathews adds to it… "#@!^%$# &^^$%#% ….. %%$#@!!!!!"
Officer Stutz waves to the motorist that almost hit him, then pulls over in front of the offending trailers. Officer Mathews takes out his ticket book and writes out two parking tickets - one for each trailer. Noting the name on the trailers (B.S. Trucking) and seeing that the B.S. terminal is right across the street, he tells Officer Stutz he’ll be right back.
"I’m shutting these bastards down", he says, "Or at least putting the fear of God into them. They won’t ever park out here again!!!!"
The officer crosses the street and heads for the front door of B.S. Trucking, tickets in hand.
*****
Inside the B.S. dispatch office, one of the dispatchers who watched the whole incident, excuses himself and heads toward the restroom……….