by Tom Molnar

Summer has crept up on Duke and it's time for the annual company picnic. This is an affair sponsored by B.S. Trucking where drivers and their families or 'significant others' are treated to a feast of food, prize giveaways, and an all around good time. The mid-year 'thank you for all you've done' affair. A good time is always had by all, and many go home with really cool stuff they've won.

This year the picnic seems to have snuck up on Duke. He's caught short on the date end. He forgot to invite one of his many 'girls' and time is running out. He really wants to go, mainly to show off some truck stop beauty he'll claim is his girlfriend.

* * * *

Bob walks into the driver's room at B.S. Trucking, sees Duke sitting in his corner sipping a cup of machine coffee, and heads over there.

"Hey Duke. Picnic's this coming weekend. You gonna have one of your hot numbers with you this year?"

Bob really cares less whether Duke shows up or not. He just wants to take the opportunity to rib him a bit. Duke hasn't showed up at the last two picnics, and had excuses both times.

"Hell yeah I'm coming!, says Duke in an enthusiastic return. "My girl says she's 90% sure she can get off work. Yeah, we're looking forward to it."

* * * *

Duke sidles up to the counter in Bubba's truck stop, making sure to sit in Mitz's station. Mitz is a longtime 'aim' of Duke's. He's been trying to get her out on a date for what seems like ever. He's asked her out a million times, and she's always politely but firmly refused. Tonight things will be different. Duke is an optimist.

"Hiya Mitz!", Duke says in as upbeat a manner as he can muster. "How're you doin' today?"

"Hi Duke", she says matter of factly. "What'll it be today? The usual? Free trucker's coffee?

"Oh no baby. Today I'm having the works. Gimme the $1.99 trucker's breakfast special. Extra butter." Duke hopes the big bucks will make Mitz more likely to accept his invite to the company picnic.

"Coming right up", she says. "Anything else I can get you Mr. Rockefeller?"

Mitz takes Duke's order without even cracking a smile. Duke has always been one of her favorites.

"No, that's it", Duke says. "Oh wait.... What're you doing this weekend, Mitz?

I'm busy, Duke", she says flatly, not even waiting for the announcement of what big event he's going to invite her to this time.

"Aw Mitz, it's the annual B.S. Trucking driver appreciation picnic and I'd love for you to come".

"Not this year, Duke", says Mitz as she scuttles to the order window with Duke's order. "Maybe next time."

If it were real appreciation, B.S. would change Duke's run and make my life 100% better, Mitz thinks to herself.

* * * *

As the dinner hour approaches Duke decides the 76 Truck Stop trucker buffet will benefit from his attendance. Besides, Anna works there and he's sure she's just about to finally accept one of his invitations for a date. What could be more innocent than a company picnic?

Duke walks up to the entrance, mirrored sunglasses still on, cowboy hat pulled low in front, and taking one last pull off his Black Russian cigarette. He drops the half smoked butt, still burning, in the middle of the sidewalk in front of the door. Duke is a class act.... He scans the restaurant in search of Anna. Ahh, he sees her waiting on a table and there's an empty one right next to it. Duke heads straight for it, ignoring the "Please Wait To Be Seated" sign. He's Duke Slade. And besides, he stops here all the time. Never mind that it's usually for the 'free coffee to truckers' offer. He parks at the empty table and waits for Anna to come over. Instead, she doesn't even look at Duke, and heads for the order window. A slim clean cut gentleman in a white shirt and tie walks up behind Duke, who is busy watching the back end of Anna.

"Good evening Sir", he says. "My name is Bruce and I'll be waiting on you tonight. Can I get you a menu? Some coffee to start with?"

Duke is startled and quickly turns around. He eyes the new waiter, wondering what the hell is going on here.

"I thought this was Anna's station", he says with distaste in his voice.

"Well, ordinarily it is, but Anna isn't feeling well tonight and she's leaving early. I'm filling in for her tonight. Could I bring you some coffee, sir?"

Bruce is friendly enough but Duke is sure he's 'that way'. Hell, if Anna isn't going to wait on him, he's not going to be able to ask her to the picnic. What's the point anyway? He could just get a large piece of beef jerky and a Pepsi and be done with it, saving a ten spot.

"Ya know Bruce, I just remembered I have to be somewhere sooner than I thought. I think I'll take a pass. Duke gets up and heads toward the door. He meets Anna at the cash register and waits for her to give the other driver some change. As the other driver heads for the door, Duke speaks up.

"Anna, so good to see you. I'm sorry to hear you're feeling poorly. I'm sure it's nothing serious though. How would you like to come to my company's driver appreciation picnic with me this coming weekend?" Duke looks right into Anna's eyes, which are red and watery. Her nose is running and it too is red, probably from non-stop blowing. She looks really dragged out and tired. Duke waits for an answer.

"Duke, all I want to do right now is go home. Go home and hopefully die. I'm miserable. I can't breathe, I can't talk, I can't think, and if I don't get out of here, I fear I won't even be able to move." She looks away from Duke and blasts out a huge sneeze. "Uhhhhhh......" She spins on her heel and heads into the back room, leaving Duke standing at the cash register.

As Duke stands there, the restaurant manager walks up. "Good evening sir. Can I show you to a table?"

Duke's mind is somewhere else, but the man's voice jolts him back to reality. "Uhhh, no, that's OK. I was just leaving." Duke turns and heads for the door, reaching for another cigarette.

* * * *

Three days later Duke still has no date for the picnic. He's hit on every truck stop waitress he's ever spoken to. Even a couple he saw for the first time. What gives? Everyone is busy. I wish I was that busy, Duke thinks. He even called his sister to see if she could make it. No luck.

* * * *

On the Friday before the picnic, Duke is standing outside the dispatch office smoking a cigarette. A new driver named Will climbs the steps to the door and greets Duke.

"Hi there Mr. Duke. Hey, are you coming to the picnic this weekend? I want my wife to meet you." Will stops to talk but Duke is looking the other way and makes no attempt to turn around.

"Naw, my girlfriend has to work most of the day. She gets off at 2 in the afternoon. That's too late to drive all the way to that picnic so we're just going to spend the rest of the afternoon at my place." Duke is still facing away from Will. He takes a deep drag on his Black Russian and blows the smoke out into the night air. "I've been to too many of them picnics anyway. They're a drag."

* * * *

As Duke reaches through the opening in the glass window in the dispatch office, the dispatcher speaks up.

"Hey Duke. Looking forward to seeing you Saturday at the picnic. My wife is looking forward to talking with you. She misses your stories. It's been a couple years since you've come. You'll be there, right?" He hands Duke his papers, waiting for an answer.

"Naw", Duke says. He grabs the papers without looking up at the dispatcher. He fumbles through, checking the HazMat papers. "Naw. My girlfriend has to work half the day. By the time she's off it's too late to head out there. I'm not going by myself, and besides, I promised her a fancy dinner at my place after she gets off. If she didn't have to work we'd have made it for sure." Duke looks up and flashes the dispatcher a quick fake smile.

As Duke walks out of the office he passes Don, another driver.

"Hey Duke, you going to......"

Duke cuts him off mid-sentence. "No, I ain't goin' to the picnic. Screw the picnic! I've got better things to do".

* * * *

Saturday morning, as the reserved picnic grounds begin to fill with B.S. drivers, Duke sits up in bed and turns on the TV. The cable is out, so he can only get two channels. One is cartoons, the other is Mr. Rogers.