by Tom Molnar
©June 16, 1996Duke Slade, the epitome of big strappin' truck drivers, wheels his high rider pick-up through the gate and into the yard of B.S.Trucking, his unfortunate employer. Duke's been driving for B.S. now for quite a few years and claims all sorts of seniority rights, even though none are due him. He is a man of many words, mostly uncalled-for and unappreciated. As he scans the lot looking in the direction of 'HIS' parking spot, an unfamiliar car catches his eye. Can it be? Yes, it's parked in 'HIS' spot...! Parking spaces are not officially assigned but Duke has unofficially claimed the spot closest to the parking lot gate as his. To avoid hassles most of the other drivers have just given in and let him have it.
"Who's this moron in my spot?!", Duke loudly chides to himself. "Man, I hate it when these idiots park in my spot. Who the hell does this jerk think he is?"
Duke sees an open spot way down at the other end of the lot.
"This is a bunch of crap", he mumbles. "I've been here too long to have to put up with this. Wait 'til I see this guy. Probably some new guy, some FNG. I hate new guys. They don't know nuthin', can't do nuthin', don't want to learn nuthin'. Well screw 'em. I ain't showin' him nuthin'. But, I gotta tell him to move his car. Gotta nip this stuff in the bud, before he thinks he can park just anywhere."
Duke pulls into a spot well away from 'HIS' spot, cursing under his breath all the while.
"$#@* #$&$% *?@%ing new guys!!!!"
As he climbs down from his sky high four wheel drive pick-up dragging his Thermos as he exits, Duke straightens his wide brimmed cowboy hat, pulling it down so it sits just above his eye brows, adjusts his $150 mirrored sun glasses, brushes his mustache in each direction with his finger, and slides each of his well polished cowboy boots up and down the back of the opposite pant leg. Looking sharp is important to Duke. He isn't just showing up. He's extending his presence....
Duke sashays toward the office in the manner known to everyone. You could recognize Duke in the dark with only a shadow to go by. Mr. Cool is approaching. He reaches into his shirt pocket and retrieves his pack of Sobranie Black Russian cigarettes. Duke pays $5.50 a pack for these fancy imports.
"These guys with their Marlboros only think they're smoking", Duke remarks to himself. "This is a man's cigarette. No wimpy smokes for me."
He flips the hard pack open and jolts it in a way that pops two or three smokes up. He puts his lips around one of them and pulls it out. There's a book of matches slipped inside the cigarette pack, which Duke pulls out, selecting a match for removal. He places the match between his first two fingers facing in, scrapes it over the striking surface, and it flares up. Duke cups his hand around the match and brings his other hand up to complete the wind protecting procedure. The cigarette lights and Duke takes a deep drag, slipping the unusual looking pack back into his shirt pocket. The cigarette is strong and produces a small cough.
"Old aircraft carrier deck worker trick", he thinks to himself as his mind wanders momentarily back to his days on the Carl Vinson. "All part of being cool." He tosses the lit match to the ground when done, not giving it a second thought. A stick of gum is unwrapped and popped into his mouth. The wrapper follows the match to the ground where it blows toward the building.
A huge soft drink cup from a local mini-mart blows by Duke, bouncing its way toward the building.
"Man, look what some idiot did. We've got garbage cans for this stuff", Duke thinks to himself. "The place looks like hell."
Upon reaching the building, Duke grabs the handle of the glass door on the right, pulls it open, and heads for the door marked "Driver's Room". The next door down the hall is marked "Dispatch", but right now there's other business to tend to. There's a moron in Duke's parking space.
Duke whips the door open and charges in. He looks to his left, toward the coffee machine, and there stands a petite and pretty blonde lady. Coffee cup in one hand, log book in the other. She looks up and sees Duke.
"Well hi there!", she exclaims. "My name is Candy. I just got hired today. I'm a new driver."
(to be continued)