When Larry Larsen of Layton, Utah called me the other day to go fishing, I could only shudder with dread anticipation of what I was about to agree to. I guess you might call Larry and me friends. The fact is we are first cousins and since neither one of us has been able to prove the other at fault for this hideous fact of nature, we have always tried to overlook, if not deny it.

More by fate of family ties than by choice, I suppose we have done just about everything two boys and eventually young men can do together growing up in Utah. We've built fast cars, fished, chased girls, hunted, fought common enemies, fished, fought each other, and hunted. Most of all, we've fished and hunted.

Trout, Catfish, Mule Deer, Geese, Pheasants, Ducks and just about every other legal game animal in the state.

You may wonder how I could be even a little less than enthusiastic about going fishing with someone I have known for so long. The truth is rather embarrassing, but maybe by telling it I can break the evil spell I'm sure Larry must have sold blood to cast upon me when we were very young.

When we built fast cars, his was faster. When we chased girls, he caught them (or he would wait and steal the ones I caught.) Heck, I've been married for 13 years and still havn't let him meet my wife.

This can all be very difficult at family reunions and camping trips but life with Larry has taught me some creativity and ingenuity. Still, I fear he is becoming slightly suspicious of my "extremely contagious leprosy, polio and hepatitis" excuses for declining his invitations.

Hunting with Larry can be annoying at best. He is the only guy I know who can hip shoot three doves before I can get a bead on one. I'm not positive but I think he may have learned this technique after the third or fourth time I planted a handful of puncture weeds inside the shoulder of his shooting jacket. Even this did not affect his shooting. He would just casually mention his possible need for a new recoil pad as he bent down to recover his birds.

Fishing is even worse. I once hand raise a trout from fingerling to five pounds. Every day I'd tie a chunk of my highly secret bait recipe (ground salmon eggs and worms) to my fishing line and cast it to this fish. When the big day finally came to catch him for real, I took my fish up to my favorite hole on the Weber river. Then I rushed back to town to pick up Larry. I was excited, because for once I was going to catch the first fish. I even entertained fantasies that the wild fish in the Weber would not be biting and for once Larry would be the one to get skunked.

When we got back to the river I tripped Larry as he got out of the truck so he wouldn't beat me to my hole. He limped up the river to another hole mumbling something about cursed family ties. Anxiously, I dropped my secret bait into the water and with a sneer on my face waited for my fish. Right away I spotted him cruising out from the roots on the other side of the river. He came straight to my bait and sniffed it the way he always did. I planted my feet and prepared for my victory fight.

Larry was never going to live this down; for once I was going to beat him. Just then my fish looked up at me, rolled his eyes and (I swear I could even hear an evil chuckle) swam right upstream and ravenously grabbed Larrys' highly secret bait recipe.(ground salmon eggs and worms.)

Feeling somewhat rejected, I guess I may have temporarily lost my temper. As Larry was releasing my traitorous fish, I ran up and tackled him. Then I hog-tied him with some 20lb. test fishing line. At first I was just going to leave him that way, but not wishing to be called unsportsmanlike, I rebaited his hook, cast it in and jammed the pole under his armpit so he could hold it.

Larry still caught the most fish that day, but I had a good time watching him reel them in with his teeth. I still havn't figured out how he rebaited his hook though.

I think Larry needs me with him so he can catch anything. I bet he gets skunked when I'm not there. Next trip I think I will file grooves in all of his hooks so they'll break every time he gets a bite....